Why Finding Balance is so Hard for Millennials
Not just Millennials, but everyone. Why is it that the “American Dream” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Or, even attainable for that matter.
The good old American Dream used to be get married, have kids, get a good job, and exist. Sounds nice, right? What if you don’t want kids, or a marriage? Even if you do, what happens on the road to getting there? The details seem to get lost in the big picture. No one tells us what it feels like on the road to success, just that once you get there, you’ll be happy –– or at least you’re supposed to be.
It’s not to say that the other generations have it easier. In fact, we all have it hard, it’s just different. Money for school, housing, healthcare, necessities, and (god forbid) fun, is so much harder to come by these days — especially during what seems to be a never-ending pandemic (in the U.S. at least). And, while Millennials often get a bad rap, we’re really just striving for a better life. We chase success like it’s this tangible thing, when really it has countless definitions.
I’ve seen many people go about their jobs, contributing to society, but with monotony, stress, and little to no passion. We’re overworked, underpaid, and many are miserable at their jobs just to keep existing with more stress and more misery. I refuse to give in to that –– even if it seems to be the norm. Why can’t we be treated well at work, be less stressed, and have enough energy to actually enjoy our time off?
I am a forced workaholic –– I don’t want to be one, but when I have a job, I do it well and throw my all into it –– and I love it! Well, to an extent –– I still value my time outside of work. I realized I’ve been surfing never-ending waves in an ocean. Sometimes, the shore seems too far away to ever take a break. So how do we fix this? How do we create a balance in our lives between work, friends, family, and ourselves?
What Does Balance Look Like to You
A well-balanced life is like a well-balanced diet –– it’s going to be unique to everyone. Some people bode well with long work days, while others need more rest and a social life. Especially with so many people working from home right now, a work/life balance is crucial to your mental health.
Take a look at your week –– how much do you spend working, doing chores, with friends, family, and with yourself? If you’re anything like me, you’ll notice that the time you have for yourself is the smallest slice of the pie chart. Once you’ve got your days laid out in front of you, start to visualize what areas need more attention, and which ones you can devote less time to so you can devise a new plan.
Set Up Your Boundaries
For whatever reason, it seems like boundaries are difficult to stick to –– especially when they weren’t necessarily established to begin with. When you stick to the boundaries you’ve set in place for yourself, it might rub some people the wrong way, but that’s a them issue. When it comes to a work/life balance –– whether you’re working from home or not –– this is when the importance of sticking to your boundaries really comes into play.
Those who are working from home seem to be working more now than they ever have. If that’s the case for you, make a clear end time. Let everyone you work with know, you’re ending at 6 p.m. every day. Unless it’s an emergency, or there’s a huge deadline, don’t check your emails, stop answering calls, and you’ll see that the next day, you can pick up right where you left off. The world didn’t end and no one lost any sleep. It’s within your right to stop working when you would have if you were at the office.
I used to take my work home with me every night and that was after working for 10 hours at the office. It crushed me. I felt like I had no brain power left for anything else and that my personality was centered only around my job, but I was so anxious that things wouldn’t get done, that I couldn’t take a break. The thing is, the work was never ending, so it wasn’t like I was doing myself any favors by continuing long after I should have stopped. In fact, longer hours doesn’t actually yield more productivity. In a recent study, it found that a shorter work week of four days (with the same pay as five) raised productivity by 20 percent. People were more rested, so they worked more efficiently.
The same goes for friends and family, too. If you can’t make plans because you’re too tired, or had an anxiety flair up, it’s okay to let them know. Don’t become an unreliable flake, but know that it’s okay to prioritize time with yourself if you need it. Only drop by for an hour, or reschedule for a time you’re feeling up to a hang.
Have Regular Self-Care
While it may seem like self-care is that continuous buzzword humming around every social media influencer or lifestyle publication, it truly is immensely important to your self-preservation. The best part about it is that it can mean anything you want it to mean. Maybe it’s binge-watching your favorite show, indulging on a fantastic meal, taking a bath, or woodworking (hey, whatever works!).
Self-care has been proven to increase your immune system. Stress is the silent killer many of us are aware of, but not necessarily privy to how much it physically affects us.
Stop Looking for “The Secret”
When you’re on social media or reading something online, it seems like there are all these “secrets” and routines that will instantly change your life around. You too can be as productive as the CEO of a high stakes company! The thing is, all that jazz may work for some people, but it’s most likely not going to work for you. Not in the same capacity, at least. To be honest, while some of it can be good advice, most of it sounds just plain awful.
If you can be that productive and on your game, then that’s great! However, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Waking up at 5am, meditating, working out, and grinding all day everyday, — I’m exhausted just writing it down. Your perfect balance will may look drastically different than what all these so called experts are telling you to do. If you work better at night (like me), then that’s great! If you like a little more leisure time, that’s fine, too. All in all, take the advice that is going to serve you, and leave the rest on the motivational podcasts.
From one truly hardworking, but burnt out individual to another –– balance may not be easy to come by, but it may just save your life.
